How to Succeed When Others Want You to Fail
Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against you. Whether you want to lose weight, stop eating meat, cut down on your spends, or you just want to make a simple change in your life. It can feel as though everyone is pulling against you. Friends want you to come out and drink, family want you to eat dinner with them (and eat exactly what they’re eating)…
For me, it’s a mixture of things. I’m trying to cut some things from my diet. I know it’s going to be hard, and it will take a long time, but I’m committed to doing it. I want to cut out red meat, and I want to cut out alcohol. Both for different reasons.
I want to cut red meat from my diet because I’ve researched the meat industry and I know the truth of it. Eventually, I want to become vegan, but with wanting to lose weight as well I just want to cut things out slowly in order to follow Slimming World with little as hassle as possible.
When it comes to alcohol, it’s a love-hate relationship. Heck yes I love drinking Goldschlager straight, and I could do so until I vom, but I need to start putting myself first. When I drink, I eat. I’ll order shit food and blame it on the booze. I also smoke like a chimney. Up until last weekend, I was smoke-free this year. However, 2 drinks changed that. I just become pliable when I’m drunk and it makes me feel really uneasy. Once I pass the threshold and I can’t implement my self-control, it lasts for weeks. I’ll wake up the next day hungover, wanting greasy food. I’ll then think “well it’s the weekend I’ll get back on it on Monday.” It’s not the mentality I want, and I really want to change this. When I don’t drink, I’m focused, I plan my meals, and my relationship with food is calm.
When I told my friends and family I was doing this, I got “why would you want to stop eating bacon?” and “but you’re coming out this weekend right?”. I just don’t appreciate shit like this, and neither should you. At heart, of course, they will want what’s best for you. But comments like these insinuate failure. They want you to fail, on some level, so that you can keep them satiated. See, when you fail, others win. That’s how I see it, anyway.
The important thing to remember is that you’re strong. If you’re strong enough to start, you’re strong enough to finish. I decided to sit my family and friends down and explained why I needed guidance and help. I live at home, so it’s hard to eat differently sometimes, but when I asked for some encouragement from my parents they gave it to me. Sometimes this slips, but it’s a learning process for me and them.
If you find that people are egging you on for failure, please try and stay strong. Sit them down, explain why you’re doing what you’re doing, and urge them to understand and encourage you.
“What if they reject me?”
Toxicity at its finest. You do you and forget the rest. If someone in your life can’t support you in the way you need them to, they’re not worthy of your time.
Sometimes, The Person Who Wants You To Fail Is Yourself
This is a big thing for me. A lot of the time, it’s me standing in the way of my goals. I believe it’s the duality of the Pisces in me. One fish swimming one way, the other fish swimming in the opposite direction. But I digress, this is the hardest thing to overcome, and one thing I’ll probably face for the rest of my life.
I’ll sometimes find myself sabotaging my diet for no real reason, or stopping myself working out despite my plan to do so.
If you face something similar, it’s important to understand that sometimes you have to give in. Let yourself fall and let yourself get back up. We’re not perfect at the end of the day, we’ll always have our off days, but our darkness is a part of us and if we don’t embrace it from time to time, it’ll only end up worse for ourselves.