I’ve touched on these subjects before, but I thought I’d finally write up a post about undiagnosed disorders. It can be hard, when you don’t have a diagnosis, to go about your life with an understanding of who you actually are as a person.

It has been a string of misdiagnosis after another with me. My IBS was shushed as a bad diet for a year, my Uveitis and Scleritis went undiagnosed for another year (I even knew what I had through Google before my doctors did) and my mental health/eating disorder has been continuously pushed aside since I started speaking up about it in University with my doctors.

My first real disconnect with the NHS came about when I first went to the Doctor about my depression and anxiety. I was in peak crisis with my eye, my skin condition had become unbearable, and my mental health really suffered. I broke down in my Doctors office, and I told him exactly how I was feeling, what I felt was wrong with me, and I asked for some advice. He replied that he was busy at the moment, but that I should come back next week. I felt so low that I thought about taking my own life that weekend.

Now, I know that the NHS is under a lot of pressure, and I don’t blame my Doctor for asking me to come back. When I did, he recommended some therapy services and placed me on Fluoxetine. I felt like I was going somewhere, but I don’t think that the issues I was experiencing where being addressed. Therapy would take 6 months to become available, and even then it came in the form of an online flash card service – which didn’t help me in the slightest.

Now, I’m lucky enough to be able to afford private therapy (I can’t recommend Karen enough by the way if you live in St Helens) but some people aren’t. Many have to wait for months on the NHS to speak to someone about their mental health, and when you experience issues such as gender dysphoria, this wait can become years.

I wanted to make this post because I know that there are so many people out there at the moment who suffer from undiagnosed issues, and I want them to know that they’re not alone. I’ve struggled with an undiagnosed eating disorder for years – and I don’t think I’ll ever find the tools through the NHS to get the diagnosis I need. But, I’m starting to accept that. I’m trying to learn in my own way just how I can overcome my binge eating, the purging and the controlled diet. It’s a long journey, one that I’ve only just found my feet on, but it’s important to know that you don’t need a diagnosis to beat your disorder. You are strong enough to do this by yourself, and tbh I super believe in you – even if you don’t.

Xo