Sometimes, Self Love Means Being Harsh On Yourself

I don’t mean that in a “ there is a fine line between love and hate” type of way. I mean that sometimes we need to be tough on ourselves in order to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. I view it as a form of self-love, and you should too.

Too often I find myself shying away from big life events because I’m just too anxious to face them head-on. For a long time, I was scared of getting on the bus by myself. It’s one of the smaller things I had issues with, but it still stands out to me as something I overcame by being a little harsh on myself. I forced myself to get the bus every day to work and slowly the anxiety eased away. I still get it sometimes when I haven’t been on the bus for a little while, but it’s nowhere as near the anxiety I felt the first time around.

Below are some of the key anxiety traps I fall into and how I’m starting to change my attitude towards tackling them.

Driving Anxiety

This might sound like an odd one, but driving is a really big cause of anxiety for me. I would legit love nothing more than to look at VW Leasing Deals one weekend, pack up my things, and head to a random part of the country to explore.

Not many people know this, but I’ve failed my test more than once, and it’s all down to my anxiety about it. I panic, do stupid things on my test and just mess up royally. In test runs, I’m totally fine, I can drive normally and I’m alert, but under test conditions, I just fall apart.

To tackle this, I’ve decided to just keep trying. I suffer from Anxiety of the Unknown, so unknown places and experiences really stress me out. I can think intruding thoughts about what could go wrong, how I might make myself look stupid and just overthink everything about the situation.

If I keep trying, surely my anxiety will get used to the test centre, the route and the instructors. It’s money that I, thankfully, can afford to spend on tests. I know that some people don’t, but it’s important to understand too that failing your test is a 50/50 chance. You can always save and try again down the line, and I think that’s something really important to understand. Nothing is final, you just have to believe that one day it will happen (I promise it will).

Losing Weight (Trying And Failing)

This could be a whole other post within itself, but I’ll touch upon it lightly here. I have a huge issue with losing weight. I’ve struggled for years to do it and the thought of joining yet another diet plan causes me anxiety. I’ve tried being harsh with myself, accepting my body and hugely dangerous fad diets. I think it’ll be hard for me to lose weight going forward, so one way I’m looking to tackle it is to just try and make healthier choices where I can. I won’t let myself binge or purge and I’ll not let myself starve. I need to make healthier choices, not ones based on how I view my body.

I think that’s the best way I can explain it. Sometimes, you just need to show yourself some tough and rational love in order to accept the things you can’t change…

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